Dietary advice:

“Can Beetroot make you run faster?”
If you need a laxative, no harm in giving it a try.
                                         *******
After a crocodile attack: 
“I was very lucky”
An understatement to say the least.
                                         *******
Covid contact:

“PM sorry for clubbing after Covid contact”

 There is no justification for assault.
                                         *******
At a safety meeting:
“Safety meeting ends in accident”
Pay attention at meetings!
                                         *******
Cricket match headline:
“India beat India by seven wickets”
Beating yourself is no mean feat.
                                         *******
A Mayor told the homeless:
“Go home”
I think they would if they could.
                                         *******
Disgruntled murderer:
“…detective ruined my reputation”
And you didn’t ruin it yourself?
                                         *******
Tennis news:

“Are we saying goodbye to the GOATS at Wimbledon?” 

I thought the grass was mown, not nibbled.

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